Some funny conversations

Setting: Hoffmaster State Park
Tem just ran across the street without looking for cars......
Me: Temamen, what are you supposed to do before crossing the street??!!
Tem: Hmmmmmm......Smile? (flashing his biggest smile)


Setting: Nighttime, in the car, full moon outside
Tess: The moon is following me.
Me: Oh really?
Tess: When I go, it goes. When I stop, it stops.
Me: Are you sure?
Tess: The moon was always following me in Ethiopia too.
Me: I guess the moon is following you.

Honoring Marriage and Family and Love (even when you don't want to........)

"Love does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong......" (from 1 Corinthians 13).
During this past year I have celebrated a 50th birthday and a 25th wedding anniversary and it got me reflecting on life. I thought some of those hard seasons, and there were many.......being home with little kids instead of focusing on a career, times of loneliness and isolation, sickness, death, loss, realizing that I will never be completely fulfilled in THIS life. Everyone who has ever been married or had children to raise has had days where it just sounds good to run away. Forever. Start over. Just be responsible for me, no one else.

But then you stay. And thank God for the sense he gave me (you) to stay put. And then there are those milestone days where you look around at your family and thank God for each of them. And all their imperfections. And the way they love me, in spite of my imperfections. It's really quite beautiful.

Last night I went to the hospital to see my niece, Rachel, who had been in a bad car accident earlier that morning. So many people in my extended family were there. We haven't all agreed on everything over the years, sometimes even had arguments or held grudges or just haven't loved each other well. But in a time of crisis, we're all there. Hugging each other. Loving each other. Supporting each other. That's what families do. It's beautiful.

I just pray that if anyone out there is thinking of abandoning it all, think again. And again. And ask God to somehow, some way give you the strength to hang in there. One more day. One more week. One more year. Soon you will be celebrating the milestone markers and thanking God for these quirky, wonderful people who do life with you.

COLOR BLIND?? OR NOT......

Ever since we brought children of other various shades of color into the family, I have been wondering about the whole issue of race......Do they notice? Does it matter? What is the reaction of others in their ethnic group (not that I really care......). I just find it interesting. Probably because I am an ENFP and I am fascinated by anything to do with people.

The the other night, I tucked Tessa into bed and as I was laying next to her, she said, "Mama, you only like me cuz I'm black." Hmmmm. OK. And earlier that week she had told me that her friend's parents can't be married because "he black and she white." So I guess she does notice color.....

But all of the reaction we've had from the African-American community has been positive. I was a little surprised. An African-American lady working at the polls last week hugged me when she saw the kids and thanked me for being a blessing to them. Others have smiled or given encouraging words. Some Ethiopian people stop their cars to talk to the kids in Amharic.

And although it happens so rarely, whenever we run into people of Roma or Gypsy heritage, there is an instant connection to Robbie.

Somehow it all makes me feel like I'm part of a bigger family. The kind of family that notices color, but more than that notices what's underneath the exterior. And I like that feeling.

Writing Is Really Quite Simple.......

Frederick Buechner says in his book The Clown in the Belfry that "writing is really quite simple; all you have to do is sit down at your typewriter and open a vein." Which is probably why I haven't updated the blog in quite a while. I'm afraid that once I open a vein, the bleeding will never stop......

I have plenty to say. It's just that it's not all encouraging and cute and funny and won't make everyone out there run to the nearest adoption agency to see how many kids they can adopt. First, let me say that I am not in any way saying that I regret our decisions to add children by adoption. No, no, no......this was definitely God's plan from day #1 of our marriage. Maybe even before.

I am just feeling more and more emotional about all that bringing children into a family through adoption includes......the brokenness, the joy, the heartache, the grief of losing one family, the wonder of gaining a new family, the wounds from the past that just won't heal, my own insecurity as a parent, my own lack of wisdom when challenges come at me. When I think of the decisions my adopted kids' birthmoms had to make, it makes me cry. And I think of all the time (and in Robbie's case, years) spent with no one to wipe those tears or care for their medical needs or just hug and rock and feed and cuddle them. My heart breaks. Hopefully in a good way. Although right now all I am feeling is the brokenness and my inadequacy to meet their emotional needs. I suppose once again God is just showing me that I need him. I can't do any of this on my own.

So pray for us.......some of you may look at the Warners' family and think we are a pretty great family, have it all together, don't struggle with much. Not true. We're all pretty human and I'm sure I am making many parenting mistakes. But I am asking God for the strength each day to know who needs me the most and to help a little with the healing that needs to happen in each life.

Next time I write, I promise I will have some cutesie thing that Tessa said or something incredibly perceptive that Tem thought of.......but for now, this is all I have.

lately...

BROTHERS. Robbie and Tem have been greatly improving in their ability to get along. And we are so thankful for this! Most of their time is spent either...Wrestling. Playing World Cup soccer in the backyard (Romania vs. Ethiopia...its a pretty fair competition). Watching movies. Taking pictures of themselves to hang up in their room. Or Tem trying to teach Robbie how to speak Amharic. Its all pretty comical.
This video, from a few days ago, is Tem trying to sing "Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas" from a musical greeting card. He doesn't quite get it :)

Tessa on the Phone...